4 Ways to Make Amends in Recovery

The person may withdraw from those closest to them, be quick to lash out, or even steal from family and friends. When a person gets sober, it can be difficult to process the pain they have caused their loved ones. Making amends, however, can help repair strained relationships while also https://ecosoberhouse.com/ reinforcing recovery. Living amends is a concept linked to addiction recovery and part of the twelve-step program for sober living. In simple terms, it means taking responsibility for the person you used to be and how you caused harm to the people in your life who care about you.

What Does Step 9 (Making Amends) Have To Do With Sobriety?

If your actions match your intentions and you reach out in person, you are doing the next right thing to right past wrongs. And remember, if you are feeling ashamed about mistakes made and damage done during your using days, you are not your disease. Step Nine states that we make amends "except when to do so would injure them or living amends others." We don't want our actions to cause further damage, harm or stress. In those cases, we can make amends in a broader sense by taking actions like donating money, volunteering our time or providing care. For example, we might intend to go to a friend's birthday party, but in actuality, we fail to show up for the event.

When Do You Start Making Amends in Recovery?

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Positive Psychological Effects of Step 9 AA

• So, to truly make amends, we have to offer more than words.
• It's not our job to quicken their process of accepting us any more than it was their job to help us get sober.
• The guilt may have been real, but the apology didn’t come with lasting change.
• The first step is to know that your questions and feelings are normal.
• Whether or not you’re intimately familiar with the Twelve Steps of AA, you’ve probably heard of Step Nine.

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Sometimes an indirect or living amends is the best you can do. Of course, if you can make direct amends you should do so; this is why having a sponsor or advisor to help give you direction is so important. If you aren’t able to make direct amends, then you can volunteer your time or help someone else out. Making amends is more than just an apology, it’s changing your life around and changing your ways; eliminating the destructive behaviors that were once part of your life. Making amends requires the individual to correct their mistake. This action can demonstrate the person’s new way of life in recovery.

How Will Making Amends Help My Recovery?

The Science of Step 9 AA: How Making Amends Can Help

• If you have devoted the necessary time and energy to the first 8 steps, you should have a solid foundation from which to approach making amends in Step 9.
• With this option, the individual in recovery takes steps to improve their relationships and demonstrate their lifestyle change.
• While this step involves a direct exchange with another person, its goal has everything to do with healing and addiction recovery on the part of the person making the amends.
• Avoid general statements like, “I’m sorry for everything I’ve done.” Be specific with your apology and include concrete plans to restore the relationship.